Do What Makes YOU Happy

What makes you happy? I’m talking genuinely happy. For some it’s friends and family, others enjoy pure solitude. Now let’s think about what can turn our days around without even noticing.

There are two things in my life that change my mood almost instantly. I’m going to give you a hint. It’s actually not my wife and kids, it’s cooking the food I love and music. There is something about the process that is absolutly magical.

It all starts with a thought, tguyhat thought might be “man we need to use up the mushrooms”. From that point I find myself physically and mentally rushing around to see what I can cook that I have never tasted before. In moments like these I find myself putting on music, these tend to be songs that I belt out during the entire process from start to finish.

Growing up my friends and I spent a lot of time at The Stretch cabin. Echo Bay was our playground from sunrise to sunset, often without sleep. I always loved to cook but this is where I found a love for cooking for the people I love.

I was usually the first one up, I would spend 5 minutes clearing the kitchen of miscellaneous beer cans and bottles of Baby Duck. Soon after, you could hear music throughout the cabin, as I was in my happy place. Bodies would start to crawl out of the bedrooms and off the couches to the smell of breakfast. This would go on from the moment we got up till the time we hit the hay. Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner was where I loved to be.

To this day, I love to have my close friends and family over so that I have a reason to create a new experience. Food is a powerful way to express your feelings and emotions. To some, it’s simply a waste of time and only something they must do to live. For others it’s simply life itself. How someone prepares food can tell you a lot about that person.

From Hotdogs to Maple Roasted Red Pepper Gnocchi, I hope that everyone I cook for can feel the love I put forth. Give me a fridge full of food and some Biggie Smalls, and Big Poppa is going to make sure your tummy is fed and your heart is full.

N.R.W

Advertisements

Fathers Day

Ok so I’m a few days late. In all honesty, I tried to get this out on Fathers Day I really did. Here’s the deal: life happened. I got hit with three days of depression and migraines. Now I’m not here to make excuses, but shit happens.

It took me three days to get out of this slump. It took me three days to evaluate my mood and tell myself to smarten the fuck up. It’s not always as easy as it seems but like I said before, it’s up to me and me only to decide how my day goes. I let myself down and allowed myself to stay down.

Depression is about balance and being aware of your mood. It’s not always easy and the lows seem to get lower and lower. It might be hard at times, but it’s important to stay open and always remember to keep talking. Talk to anyone you can because bottled up emotion is a goddamn time bomb waiting to happen.

So again, I know I’m a few days late but……..

Happy fathers day to every Dad and Step Dad out there! This includes every single Mom, grandparent, Aunt, Uncle, and family friend who has ever stepped up when a child was in need.

N.R.W

Proud Daddy

Proud is an understatement, my heart is absolutly filled to the top with all sorts of feels.

If my house is anything like everyother parents then dinner time can be a pain in the ass.

Thing 1 – I don’t want to eat that.

Thing 2 – Throws fork on the ground

Thing 3- Crying

Tonight was going very smooth, then BOOM. That’s right all hell broke loose at the kitchen table. Two of the three kids were crying, there was rice and cutlery everywhere. The girls made dessert before dinner, chocolate mousse and Butterscotch pudding or “Hopscotch pudding” as my oldest calls it. We had a game plan, everyone eat good and then we were able to have two that’s right TWO desserts.

So the melt down is in full swing and then out of nowhere my oldest comes to the rescue. Her baby sister needs to eat 5 small bites of her chicken and then it was dessert heaven, however, she was not and will not calm down. So there she is, my first born baby girl, calming her sister down and doing the oldschool “airplane” move.

She has calmed her down, she gets her to eat all the chicken and absolutely killing the parenting game. My wife has the biggest smile ear to ear and says to her.

Mom- “You are going to be the best mom ever sweetie”

Thing 1 – Smiles and starts to blush “thanks momma”

My heart skipped a beat, my face hurt from smiling and I have never felt so proud in my life. Now for the people who know my daughter, at the age of almost 5, she wants nothing more then to become a mom. My baby girl absolutely melted my heart today. She is such a strong little woman already and she continues to blow me away with her positive winning attitude.

She took control of a situation and absolutely crushed it, at just under 5 years old she carried herself as if she too was a parent. I saw characteristics in her that I don’t see in most adults today.

Needless to say she got her two desserts and then some. It is moments like these that I do not have the words to describe how PROUD I am of my family.

What are some of your PROUD moments? Is there one that just sticks out in your memory or maybe you have a hand full? I want to hear them, comment below or tag someone who has a unique or heartwarming story. I look forward to hearing from you all.

N.R.W

Kindergarten

Orientation day!

Honestly I let my anxiety and hard feelings towards school get in the way a bit today.

My daughter is so excited to start her journey into the world of learning. As a father I’m excited for her. All hard feelings aside, there is a lot to learn in grade school and I’m anxious to watch her learn and grow.

Grade school was a very hard time for me. I went to three school by the time I was 9, which at the time made it very hard to make friends.

“Oh great not another boy!”

This was something I heard, from who ironically later in life became one of my best friends and she actually introduced me to my amazing wife. At the time it hurt but it was something I was used to. I was picked on a lot due to my size so I learned to hide my feelings and bottle everything up.

Always being the outsider I needed a way to “fit in”, so naturally I acted out. In “school” standard I wasn’t very bright, I did poor in class and well homework was not a priority. I hid my report cards and threw away notes from my teachers.

“if you keep this up your going to be no one in life”

“no Nick you need to do it this way, your way is wrong”

I knew from a very young age that school was not a place for me. By grade 12 I worked from 530am to 1030am then I went to school then back to work after class. At the time I had a 3rd period class which I would show up to late due to my work schedual and my teacher constantly harped on me for it. One day I had enough after he called me out in front of everyone.

Teacher -” Nick you come in here late everyday, your dressed in dirty clothes, you seem tired and distracted and your wasting my time”

Teenage Nick ” Oh I’m sorry, iv put in more hours already today then you will put in all week, so dont tell me im wasting your time” (there might have been some foul language in there)

Needless to say I quickly dropped that class and honestly never looked back. Now I’m not here to bash school, I’m not even entirely sure where I was going with that story but oh well.

Honestly I hope my kids grow up having the time of their life in school. I want them to have memories of their favorite teacher and “that one time in grade 4 when we…”. It turns out when you go to 5 different schools you end up with a lot of different friends and even more interesting stories. More then anything i want my children to leave school with amazing memories, and hopefully no debt(that ball is in my court I know).

To my baby girl, your growing up too fast for mom and me but that’s ok. Your going to learn lots both hard lessons and lessons that will come easy. Your going to make friends and lose friends but it’s all part of the process. Just remember to never stop learning, always go after your dreams and never give up on yourself. YOU have the choice to be happy and to enjoy your life. Listen generously, you might learn something from the most unexpected person. One last thing, BE YOURSELF. You are what makes you amazing, if someone doesn’t like it, so what. Your going to do great baby girl, go take what’s yours and never look back because you can’t change what’s already done but you sure as hell can build the road to where you want to go.

N.R.W

Migraines Part Deux

Ok so, awhile back I wrote this article about migraines. This is a follow up post that I have been contemplating for awhile now. I told myself when I started this blog that I was going to be 100 percent me, I’m not entirely sure why I was really contemplating anything. I have found 80 percent pain free days with the help of Medical Marijuana.

Let me tell you fine folks about how CBD Oils have literally changed my life. I went from taking 2 to 3 different pain medications a day, along with 2 different antidepressants, as well as having a back up (narcotic) just in case nothing else worked……. to NO MORE PILLS!!!!!

I know there are some of you who think it’s absolutely absurd, but guess what…. I dont give a damn what you think. I now live a life without a constant head ache. I went from having pain every single moment of my damn day to 2 maybe 3 hours A WEEK. I feel as if I’m free, free from something that has literally held me back from day to day activities.

I have changed a few thing in my day to day, minimal caffeine (I sneak a Coke here and there). I have now been alcohol free since February, ya that’s right no more weekend whiskeys. I also drink a Shakeology shake everyday. I have actually found that if I dont drink a shake, by the end of the day my head will start to aggravate me.

This combination has given me a new life, a life that I am no longer haunted with the possibility of being immobilized by pain. I feel like a new man to be honest. I do this super weird thing called sleep, all my medications before literally kept me awake until my body just shut down and I would sleep for a few days.

I feel as if I’m a better father and honestly a better husband. I dont scare my kids anymore when “daddy puked because he has a headache” or “daddy needs help walking because his head hurts”.

I’m not afraid to be alone with my kids, that’s right I was literally afraid to be alone with my kids.

So around this time last year, my wife was away on business for a few days and the girls and I were having a “girls week”. I ended up staying home all week due to my youngest puking about 3 hours after mom left. So we had a week of at home snuggles and tea parties, and that weekend we finally ventured out with Nana (my momma). We had a beautiful day at the park ending with some ice cream. We got the icecream and a wave hit me, a wave of pure agonizing pain. I asked my mom if she would watch the kids while I went home and slept for a bit. I’m not entirely sure how I made it home, all I remember was getting to my house and when I got to my room, I blacked out from the pain and woke up 6 hours later on the floor to my dad pounding on the door. This was why I was scared to be alone with my children. How am I supposed to take care of them if I can’t function.

IM FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

If there is anyone out there thinking about the idea of medical marijuana, DO IT. I’m serious, there are options out there for everyone. Get that “stoner” stigma out of your head.

My new life is beautiful.

N.R.W

Motivation Station

What motivates you? what motivates me? This is a question that I am currently having to ask myself.

When I started this blog I felt as if I could write every day. This past few weeks however, time seems to simply just slip away. Am I doing something different? Should I do something different? Did something happen? Am I missing something? Am I being the best dad i can be? Am i being the best husband i can be? Am i being the best me i can be?

These are all questions I need to ask myself on a regular basis. Not because I think I’m a bad dad/ husband. Not because anything major came up in our day to day lives. I simply do this because no matter what there is always room for improvement.

I’m going to be blunt with myself here, I have been failing myself and my family. I have been quick on assumptions, I have been to short with my temper. Basically i have been a grouchy shit head.

There is absolutely no excuses. There is no reason big enough for me to be anything less then 100 percent for myself and my family. For this I apologize, I know that me writing this isn’t a formal apology, truthfully this has been an amazing thought process for myself.

I started this post with the hope’s of motivating myself to get writing more. Turns out what I really needed was a kick in the ass. When your not giving yourself 100 percent, your definitely not giving your loved ones 100 percent.

So what motivates me? My two daughters, my big little man and MY WIFE. Telessa I’m sorry I havnt been present, there is no excuse and you deserve better then what I have been giving.

I have a choice too be better. We all have the choice to be better, Ask yourself if what your bringing to the table is just the meal of the day or the family favorite that gets passed down through generations.

N.R.W

My One

It’s as simple as this, my wife is the reason I am here today.

Not all fairy tales are kissing frogs and flying donkeys. On the outside I learned how to be confident and to some even well put together.

In reality I was an alcohol fueled freight train filled with narcotics and a hidden bag of explosives. My depression was the conductor and I’ll be honest with you guys he was a terrible driver.

To my parents I might have seemed a bit off but I would always blame it on being tired, I was in my early twenties and living the “bar life”. To my close friends they could see me slipping away at an alarming rate.

So here I am at my afternoon bar spot, I look across the room and through the doors I see my guardian angel. I immediately asked my wing man, Michelle, who the hell this stunning women is (she worked with my future wife at the time).

M: Her name is Teles………

Me: She is the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

I didn’t even let her finish saying her name I was so fixated.

Later that day, at a different bar, here she comes walking in the door and what are the first words out of my mouth?

Me: Hey I know that girl, I fucking love that girl..

Her: Was he talking to me ?

I had to meet her, there was no question that I needed this women in my life.

So I do what any pathetic young guy does, and asks her friends what some of her interests are to see where we have some common ground. Remember a couple weeks ago I posted about how the lion king played a very important role in us meeting?

That simple post gave me an in to start a conversation with one of the shyest people I have ever met.

A few nights later I picked my future wife up and we talked for 8 hours before the lion king was played. I was sweating like a nervous pig, she asked me what was wrong and I told her I have never been so scared to kiss anyone because if I mess it up I won’t get another shot.

This women gave me the flashlight to find my way out of the hole. She gave me eternal confidence and showed me how to love me for me. Not once has she ever asked me to change or that I can’t do this and that, with trusting in me to make the right choices it in turn showed me my self worth.

To my beautiful wife, Thank you.

Love N.R.W

The Key To Life

Do you want to know what the key to life is ?

I have a hint, it’s not in this post. Everyone, and I mean everyone, is the key holder to their own life.

My life and your life are very different, just like my house key won’t unlock your door and hopefully yours doesn’t unlock my door. Throughout your life you could end up with many keys and become that one guy we know with a ten pound key ring that he needs a fany pack for. Ok I’m that guy and you know what? I’m not ashamed of it.

Everyone starts with 1 key then something cool happens, we find another one and then another. We do this till we find the one that opens that last door for us where life is perfect……. out of nowhere you stumble upon another key.

There is no single key, the key is to make the one your currently holding the best damn key you have ever seen. Life is weird and beautiful and scary and messed up but that’s what makes it amazing. If you’re looking for the key to life then take the one you have throw it away and go down to lifedepot and cut a new one.

N.R.W

The little things.

The little things might possibly be one of the most important aspects of life, and very few people seem to take them in.

I regret very little in my life, but not taking in the small visit with Grandma here and the “missed” dinner there, is something I can never get back.

This weekend we had Easter dinner at my mom’s and had an amazing visit with my second cousin Orest and Great Uncle Peter. I haven’t spent a lot of time with my great uncle but this past year my family has been able to spend a few very memorable evenings with him, evenings that will last a lifetime.

Dinner was perfect and as usual, I ate way too much, so I’m sitting there in a food coma. I look around, on one end my girls are pestering my boy and on the other adults are immersed in conversation.

Uncle Peter, however, was enjoying the little things. The joy and look of pure happiness as he watched the kids play, is something only movies and stories are able to capture. At that moment, I realized the impact such a small event can have on an individual.

Uncle Peter thank you for unknowingly teaching me the importance of soaking in the little things. The joy I was able to witness will forever be engraved in my memories.

Call that person you miss, knock on your great aunt and uncles door, don’t wish you would have or say ” I should”. Reach out, it might be the most important conversation you will ever have with that certain someone.

N.R.W

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑