It’s funny how inspiration works isn’t it? some days ideas just pop up by the dozens, then sometimes, it’s like staring into a pitch black room. For me it often comes with the help from a special soon to be 5 year old.
My oldest had a big few days, she had her first multi night sleepover with Ammi (one of the grandmas). I know it’s not a big deal to some but to her that time for just her means everything, especially with two younger siblings taking 2/3 of her previous attention. Within minutes of being home however you could tell the fight for mom and dads attention was on.
In our house we make sure we set aside one on one time with the kids, even if its running errands. The few hours spent with them allows them to open up in a different way with different music in the car or asking a million questions without being interrupted. I know for my oldest it’s hard because she remembers the old days where it was just the 3 of us. She is truly the best big sister a parent could ever ask for, 80 percent of the time she does anything she can to help us out.
Remember when I said “Within minutes of being home…..” well here comes the other 20 percent. I’m upstairs and I can hear my wife ask,
Wife: Can you please clean up all the books and toys you pulled out?
Thing 1: No
Wife: Um ok let me ask again. Can you please clean up your toys and books?
Thing 1: No. I dont want to…..
This went on for a few minutes, there was this tone in her voice and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was. I head down stairs, I’m getting frustrated with my apparent teenager and want to see how she acts towards dad. We sit down, I tell her it’s not nice to give attitude to mom and dad or anyone who is an “adult figure”. Out of left field comes more tude. Holy shit, mom and dad I’m sorry, that tone I could hear, was me…….
I’m sure everyone with kids at some point in time has used the phrase,
Do you think I want to go around cleaning up after you? No? I didn’t think so. So go clean up your toys.
Am I proud I said those words? No. Did I mean them? Yes, yes I did. Anyone with kids knows that when they are young they feel as if any attention is good attention. She knows that lashing out is bad, she herself feels bad about doing it. She will come over to me about 10 minutes after our talk and always say she is sorry and that she shouldn’t of done it.
What is the proper way of dealing with these situations? Is there a right way, or is every child different? I know that every child is different and that there is a wrong way of dealing with bad “tude”, I’m just not sure of all the right ways.
I’m not sure how my parents dealt with me, to he honest, I’m surprised I didn’t get Joe Dirted and left at the grand canyon. How did/do you guys deal with attitude? I’m always looking for a way to up my dad game, I know I’m not the perfect parent, but I sure do try to be.