I had a conversation today with my dad about a few different things. It started with a question about how he should go about disciplining his grandbabies if and when the situation presented itself. I’m going to be honest it was because my oldest was being a bit of a shit head (definitely comes from my wife not me………….ok that was a lie). We told him that if we are not around he has full authority to discipline as needed, we have been very straight forward with our kids who is in charge when mom and dad are not around.
This leads me to another topic, growing up with two dads. My family was a little bit different from other divorce situations. Mom and Dad promised that they would never fight in front of me and that they would remain civil so it would not cause any mixed emotions towards me. It was really the best thing they could have done. The relationship that they continued to have given our family a different look on things. For instance my brother and sister who are my dads and step moms, call my mom auntie to this day and they are grown up adults.
I honestly don’t remember a whole lot from when i was young so trying to portray my younger years are very difficult. I always listen to people talk about their childhood and go into detail about fucking christmas of 98 or something when they got that new discman, ya sure i had one but you dont need to brag about how you remember getting it. something i do remember is the different styles of parenting i grew up with on both sides but for some reason i could never get away with anything , it was almost as if they were talking to each other? no that couldn’t have been it.
Both my dads brought a different set of rules and regulations to the table. Something that i will always remember my dad telling me is “don’t start something you can’t finish”, in that context it was more so about getting into a scrap. I dont think he realized it at the time but that sentence has been engraved in me with how i look at everything i do in life. There are very few things that i look at and think to myself “i cant do that”, giving birth and flying are two examples. It’s not because i think i can do everything but it’s that fact that i dont want to give up before the fun even starts.
Step dads…. everyone has a different view on step dads. Heres what im going to tell you. If you are someone who is looking to get involved in someones life who has a child make sure you are prepared to be just as involved with that kid as you are with his or her mother. It takes more of a man to be a step dad, I have my 3 beautiful kids and i love them more than anything else, i knew who i was getting involved with and i wanted to start a family. My step dad knew my mom and he took me and her in and gave up a lot so that we would be able to everything that we did. I refused to call him dad, i didn’t listen to him you name it i probably did it.
Everything that i have ever done both my dads have been there to support it or tell me im being a fucking idiot and to smarten up. They might have disagreed on a lot of things that i did growing up and how to discipline me but the one common thing they both agreed on was having my best intrest at heart. It took alot of patience and im sure rum to put up with everything that i did growing up but man am i happy this did.
To my dads I want to say thank you and i love you both, you guys have taught me how to be a man a husband and more importantly a great father.